Couple Cards are used to develop a strong relationship, express your feelings, discuss differences and resolve them in a loving way. You can learn the skills to resolve any argument and allow you to be sincere by expressing your feelings safely. This is essential in lasting relationships.
How Couple Cards work
When you are faced with a communication challenge or an argument, Couple Cards enable you to follow the four resolution phases (feelings, good & bad moves, making up).
First we express our feelings. There is a reason why this discussion is necessary.
Then come the good or bad moves.Couple Cards allow you to choose the way you approach the discussion. It is human nature to make bad moves, the challenge is to realize that you may have made a bad move. You can then progress to a good move. The goal is to have more good moves than bad moves.
Good moves enable you to communicate effectively. Following several good moves you may decide it’s time to make up. You reconcile your differences and better understand each other.
Using the cards
The best way to become familiar with the process is to take one phase at a time and discuss those cards. Phases are colour coded and contain a statement or a personal message. There are hints on the back. Place the cards as shown in the diagram; the phases reflect the steps you will use to handle the discussion.
Discuss the cards between you, taking each card and exploring the idea. The hints on the back will facilitate the dialogue. The first item on the hint contains an open question followed by various points which will help you to reflect on the meaning of this card for your situation.
Having become familiar with the cards you can now begin to use them in everyday life. Start by picking a card or cards that mirror a difficulty you have had as a couple, and use Couple Cards to guide the discussion. You could alternatively choose the phase and card which reflects a current situation, for instance: Bring up the past. Recognise the phase and discuss the moves open to you.
You may also communicate with a card to help you share what you are feeling. For example, you may wish to share I am missing you.Place this card in a prominent place for your partner to find (on the table, next to the keys, stuck to the fridge …). Should you be the one to find a card, consider what your partner is communicating and discuss the card together. You may feel confident using the cards in an actual discussion. For example, if you are in the middle of an argument, one of you could choose Let’s call a time out.
Share the cards … it’s fun
Once it works for you, please pass it on! The true joy and happiness in a relationship comes from giving, sharing your experiences with others. They will be grateful that you took the time.